Wednesday, October 16, 2002
Didn't make it to get my hairs cut today because received a WONDERFUL email from Paul telling me that he will not be coming to NYC at all tonight. He will be here from 8am-6pm tomorrow. Considering that I work from 9am-5pm that will leave about 15 minutes for us to see eachother. It's been 5 and a half weeks since I have last laid eyes on him.
Douche.
Fucking douche.
Man I hate this. Can he just move here already? I miss him so terribly and these fake visits are really eating away at my insides.
When I woke up this morning, although I was frustrated as all hell about this visit, I still thought to myself "At least I won't be sleeping alone tonight."
Now of course!
Why wake up and rely on anything?!?!?!
We spent about 20 minutes on the phone screaming at eachother about why he is such a fucking asshole.
And then I spent 20 minutes after that thinking about why I am such a screaming mimi.
I JUST WANT TO SEE HIM!
I hate not being able to control the world.
I need to just relax. He will be here for like 5 days next week. But I really needed to see him for at least a little bit THIS week. But why should I ever need anything from him?
He doesn't come through when I do. At least not unless it benefits him in some way.
gggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
(growls)
It's going to be a pretty lonely night in my bed.
Douche.
Fucking douche.
Man I hate this. Can he just move here already? I miss him so terribly and these fake visits are really eating away at my insides.
When I woke up this morning, although I was frustrated as all hell about this visit, I still thought to myself "At least I won't be sleeping alone tonight."
Now of course!
Why wake up and rely on anything?!?!?!
We spent about 20 minutes on the phone screaming at eachother about why he is such a fucking asshole.
And then I spent 20 minutes after that thinking about why I am such a screaming mimi.
I JUST WANT TO SEE HIM!
I hate not being able to control the world.
I need to just relax. He will be here for like 5 days next week. But I really needed to see him for at least a little bit THIS week. But why should I ever need anything from him?
He doesn't come through when I do. At least not unless it benefits him in some way.
gggggggggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
(growls)
It's going to be a pretty lonely night in my bed.
